I wish we could have a “restore factory default” button for our bodies like they have on all of our electronic devices. When I was 23, I had a pretty decently proportioned body. That’s all I want to go back to. Hell, I’d even take the damn bangs I had when I was 23 if it was a requirement to getting that body back.
I’ve never been so uncomfortable in my own skin as I am right now. Then again, I’ve never weighed this much in my life. I secretly (well, until now…haha) wish that there was a resurgence of the plaid flannel shirts and baggy jeans of the Seattle “grunge” days in the 1990s. When I wear anything fitted, all I can see are flaws.
Tonight is my husband’s company party. I have no idea what to wear. I’m definitely not wearing a dress, partly because I don’t have one and partly because I’ve had a cold that I’m mostly over and I don’t need to get it back. But really, it just gets back to that whole not wanting to wear fitted clothes thing. On the other hand, I don’t have a lot of warm clothes that aren’t sweatshirts. And wearing a sweatshirt to a company Christmas party seems lame. You see, I have so much guilt I should be Catholic.
I get so stressed trying to find something to wear to these “events” that it makes me almost not want to go. And I do want to go, I just wish I could be innately beautiful and perfect looking with clothes that were tailored just for me. Ugh.
